A hero in high school?
by FallenAngel2298
Summary: 1.Legend of Zelda fic. Link is a hero in the land of Hyrule... wait. No, he's not. He's an ordinary teenager in his junior year of high school. Friends, girlfriends, lovers. Adversaries, obstacles and misfortune. Ahh, who knows what the future will bring? Zelda certainly doesn't. But she thinks she might know who her 'knight in shining armor' is...
1. Of Biology and Basketball

**2I can't think of anything to say. The only think in my head at the moment is something boring and platonic like 'I hope you like it', but if I had no hopes that you like it, I wouldn't post it. So that would be pointless. Everything I say has a point sharper than the Master Sword itself, so I wouldn't say such a thing.**

_**Fixed some typos, cleared up one confusing section. Damn that first draft was good. That's awesome, I only had to fix like 3 typos and edit one section slightly. Yeaaaaah. Tell me, who's the man? Me. I'm the man. Boo-yah. Time to go play Bioshock.**_

Ooooh, boy. Link's day was gonna be odd. Kakariko High School had closed down, and was now merging with Castle Town High School, Link's own school. He would be able to chill with a few of his middle school friends, like Kafei and Darunia, who had been divided into that high school district, but he would have to deal with some other, less friendly people. People like Ganondorf and Link's doppelganger, Dirk **(A/N: Yeah, Dirk, Dark ****as in Dark Link****, I'm so creative)**. Well, the first day of his junior year in high school would have one bright point. His best friend, Skye R'Tei, was on the basketball team, and there would be new tryouts. Skye was sure to surprise a few of the Kakariko jocks, that was for sure. In fact, here he came now.

"Hey, Link. Been a while. 'Sup?"

"Not much. You still living in that fancy-ass pad downtown?"

"Hell yeah, man. I wouldn't give up a place like that for shit!"

Link reflected that high school guys always swore a lot more than usual when meeting each other for the first time in a while. Probably a subconscious attempt to put on a strong front.

"I dunno where you get all that cash, dude. That's gotta be like a thousand bucks a month rent, and you're by yourself. And your parents sure aren't rich."

"I pay no rent, man, I own the place."

"Really? You never mentioned that."

"Eh, slipped my mind. I hear you're still wrestling?"

"Of course. I'm short and broad-shouldered, man; I'd be wasting it if I didn't wrestle."

"Yeah, I guess."

"You're still going out for basketball?"

"Man, I hope that question was rhetorical."

"Only halfway. You gotta drop something eventually; with all the instruments you play, plus you're in all those AP programming courses. Some point here, you'll run out of free time to chill with me."

"Bro. I already tested out of the advanced CS courses at Hyrule College, I'm done with all that for a while."

"Still got all those instruments to play, plus basketball practice. And a physique like yours, you gotta spend at least two hours at the gym outside of practice. By the way, how can you be good at every instrument ever? And you have so many! Don't you have like 20 guitars? I've only ever needed four."

"Well, I won't get into it, but there's a different one for every job, right? I tend to be pickier about using just the right one. Besides, I've only got eighteen. You should look at U2's guitarist. He's got his own semi truck to cart his guitars around."

"You're kidding."

"True story, bro. And Slash has like 500 different Les Pauls."

"Damn."

"So, today you've gotta meet some chicks from Kakariko before all the good ones get taken. You should get a girlfriend, man, maybe lose that V-card at some point."

"Dude, you have such a materialist attitude about girls. Like them for who they are, not what they are. Isn't that how the saying goes?"

"Man, I've only dated one hot chick. I do appreciate who people are. I date the girls that have a good personality, and I pull one-or-two night stands with the hot ones."

"Skye, you're practically a manwhore."

"No, I'm not. Look, when most guys are feeling a bit down, they go jack off in the shower or some shit. But I can get it whenever I want it, so I do. Player, maybe. Manwhore? Nah."

"Whatever."

"Look, let's get to first period. What do you have?"

"Personal Fitness with Darmani."

"Hah, have fun with that. I'm off to my APUSH with Anju."

"You do that. See ya."

PF with Darmani was always a grueling experience. Darmani was huge, buff, and had endless stamina. And he assumed everyone else did too. So he worked his students as hard as he himself worked.

After an hour of hearing "Wuss, gimme more pushups!" over and over again, Link staggered out of the gym. Luckily, his next class was with Dr. Mizuki, who ran the easiest course in the history of Biology teachers. Once in the classroom, he spotted his childhood friend Saria, who had been in Kakariko High School.

"Saria?"

"Link!"

She ran at him and hugged him.

"How are you?"

"Oh, you know. I'm okay. How're you?"

"I'm great! Let me introduce you to some of my friends! Malon, you two know each other, right?."

Link nodded to her and they exchanged a brief greeting. He'd dated her shortly, and then she'd broken up with him without giving a reason. He didn't think it was anything he did. They'd been a little tense around each other since.

"And this is Zelda Harkinian, my new best friend!"

"Hey. I'm Link, if you didn't hear Saria's deafening shriek a minute ago."

"Haha, well, she's excitable."

Link examined her as they shook hands. The only thought that came to mind was _Damn, she's pretty._

**(A/N: I won't waste your time describing Zelda. If you have no idea what she looks like then you have no business reading this. Sorry, but it's true.)** Her politeness and nice attitude seemed sincere enough, and he thought back to what Skye had said earlier in the morning about him needing to get a girlfriend. Well, maybe that was true. But he thought talking about losing his virginity, as Skye had suggested, was a little ridiculous. He wasn't giving that away to just anyone. But in any case, this Zelda seemed pretty awesome. He had a thought.

"Hey, Saria."

"Yeah?"

"My friend Skye – I don't think you've met him – is going out for the basketball team and the tryouts are today. I was going after school to watch. You interested in coming along?"

"Of course! I'd love to meet your friend!"

"In fact, Malon, Zelda, why don't you two come as well?"

Neither took much convincing, apparently having nothing better to do.

That afternoon, they sat near the front of the bleachers. Link quickly secured a spot next to Zelda as tactfully as he could. He pointed Skye out to her and Saria.

"That's him there. Next to Darunia. I didn't know Darunia played basketball..."

"The handsome golden-haired guy?"

Oh, boy. Saria was taken with him already.

"Yeah, that's him."

She frowned uncertainly.

"Isn't he a little short for basketball?"

It was Link's turn to look askance at her.

"He's six-one. I'd call that pretty tall."

But Saria shook her head.

"Yeah, but some of those guys are almost seven foot. I mean, I don't know a lot about basketball, but I don't see how he could shoot with a guy ten inches taller than him in his face."

Link smiled knowingly.

"You just watch."

On the court, the scrimmage game was starting. Skye was lined up as shooting guard, but was, for some reason, paired against the other scrimmage team's center. It was Ganondorf, a seven foot two giant.

As Ganon kept himself between Skye and the basket, he grinned and, with his foul nature, couldn't resist making a gibe.

"Why don't you save yourself some trouble and quit now? You'll never beat me."

Skye grinned back as he received a pass, sized the situation up and sent it to Darunia.

"Two points. One, I don't have to beat you, I just have to look good for the coach. Second, I don't even have to look better than you, I just have to look better than all but thirteen other people."

Darunia sank a layup and the players all moved down towards the other basket as the other team inbounded the ball.

"Maybe I'll stop you from looking good."

"Or you'll make me look better."

"Huh?"

"Well, if I show up a big guy like you, I'll look better, won't I?"

Ganon got the ball from a teammate. He tried a pump fake, which Skye didn't fall for, then tried moving in. Seeing that he couldn't get around his opponent, he passed it off. Then he moved past Skye without the ball, and signaled for it back.

_Two minutes earlier_

Link smiled to Zelda, who, as we already know, was sitting next to him. She looked a little spaced out.

"You interested in basketball? Or are you just here to be polite?"

"Oh, no. I'm definitely interested in basketball, only I was thinking about how your friend versus Ganon is like comparing Michael Jordan to LeBron James."

"I think I see where you're going with this, but continue."

"Well, Ganondorf is so much taller that at some point skill won't matter. Your friend is a foot shorter than he is. He won't be able to block Ganon's shots, and can't make any of his own unless he's fast enough to get around him. The difference between Jordan and James is slightly less pronounced; LeBron James is only six inches taller than His Airness, but in professional basketball it's enough. See, Jordan had to penetrate to make his high-flying dunks. But James can just stand under a basket and have a teammate throw it high enough that the guy guarding him can't take it, but he can. Then he can make his own great plays. So it's much easier for James to be amazing, and even with plenty of exaggeration, he's only a tiny bit better than MJ. So they get the same results, but Jordan does more work to get them. That means he's better, and all the bullshit about James being the best of all time is just that; bullshit. But even with that skill, James can look just as good because of six extra inches. My point is, even if your friend is better, he'll still have no chance against Ganondorf."

"Well, I see a few flaws with that argument. And here comes one now."

As Ganon got inside and called for the ball, Skye was still there in front of him. A teammate passed it and Ganon got his hands on it. He smirked. There was no way this guy could stop him now. He wouldn't even have to risk getting a charging foul, he could just shoot it from here with no chance of being blocked. As he went up to shoot, he added a foot and a half by jumping, and that amount again from the length of his arms. The ball was over ten feet in the air before it left his hands.

But then Skye was in his face again. And higher; Ganon's eyes, at full jump, were now level with Skye's waist. The ball had already been released; there was nothing he could do to stop Skye from swatting it away. Which he did, with great pleasure. And everyone heard what he shouted when he touched down, pumping his fist in the air.

"BOOM! SUP BITCH!"

Zelda was every bit awestruck as Ganon himself.

"T-there's no way he just did that..."

Link smiled triumphantly.

"You see, it doesn't matter how much taller than you your opponent is if you're Skye. That wasn't even his max jump height."

"W-what? The highest jump recorded in the NBA is Steve Francis' forty-six inches, that was why he could dunk despite being around five-six... but that jump just now was way higher! Is that really not his limit?"

Link grinned ecstatically. The way every teenage boy does when he's managed to impress a girl he likes, even if it's with someone else's accomplishment.

"Skye's maximum jump height, at the end of last year, measured in at seventy-four and a half inches."

Zelda was speechless. And all Saria could say was this.

"T-that's over six feet! That is literally impossible for a human being!"

Link smiled conspiratorially. Leaning in, he whispered behind his hand: "Large metal springs in the heels of his basketball shoes."

"Ah."

"They're an ingenious design, actually. His body weight presses them back into place when he comes down, so that he doesn't get caught."

"He'll have to stop doing that eventually."

"It really wouldn't matter at all if he was caught, to be honest. You'll understand why pretty soon."

_Later_

"Skye, you were awesome!"

He shrugged modestly.

"I wasn't planning on showing off, but that Ganon prick deserved it."

"Yeah, man. Did you hear the coach tell everyone else in the first scrimmage game that they had to play another tomorrow?"

"I didn't, actually."

"Yeah, he held back everyone else in your game and told them that they'd have to play another one. Since you kept stealing the ball and slamming down threes, he said he couldn't judge the players well enough."

"Did I really do that? Damn."

"You lose your head? Hah. Anyways, I've got some people for you to meet. This is Saria, Malon, and Zelda."

He gestured to Malon, and spoke.

"We already know each other."

"Indeed we do."

"Really? How?"

He shook his head.

"A story for another time."

Link thought it must be a pretty odd story, considering how tense they both seemed.

Saria stepped forwards.

"Well, never mind that then. I'm Saria, nice to meet you."

"Pleasure's all mine."

"I hear you're one of Link's friends?"

"Yeah, among many. He won't admit it, but he's a pretty popular fellow. You know he's a musician, as well, right?"

"Yes, you're a guitarist, right, Link?"

"Yeah."

"He's the president of the guitar club. Who else is in there, again?"

"Mikau, Kafei, Darunia, Shiek, Mido, Lulu, and Ruto."

"Ruto plays guitar?"

"Not really, but it's a place she can try to talk to me, so you know..."

Saria interrupted here.

"Ruto? The same whore that kept clinging onto you through middle school, even while you were dating me and then Malon?"

"The same. Man, that bitch follows me everywhere and won't go away."

Zelda had something to say.

"Shiek? Shiek Harkinian?"

Link answered her.

"Yeah. Wait, is he your brother?"

"Twin."

"Daaamn. That's great, he's a pretty chill guy."

"Yeah, he's not like one of those jackass older brothers who is a jerk to their siblings..."

"I take it he popped out first, then?"

"Yeah."

"I see, I see. That's great. Hey, I've got some time to blow. I'm gonna go get some coffee."

Skye shook his head.

"I'm going back to my house. I gotta practice my violin; I haven't gone down on that shit for a week."

Saria smiled.

"You play violin? That's great! I do too! I can't ever find many other people that play orchestral instruments..."

Link laughed.

"Yeah, he plays violin... and guitar, and bass, and piano, and everything else."

"Eh? Really?"

"Every brass, wind, or string you name, he has one in his basement and plays it proficiently."

"You have your own house in town? Plus all those expensive instruments? How do you afford all that? Rich parents?"

Skye groaned.

"Why does everyone assume that I have rich parents? No, I got my money by myself."

Zelda was intrigued.

"Do tell."

"Ugh... fine. None of you can ever repeat this."

They all nodded in turn.

"You know that teen billionaire pop artist who was really popular two years ago, Nabooru?"

Another round of nods.

"Well, beginning of freshman year, right at the height of her popularity, she was in town. She's actually the same age as us. Anyways, she saw me in the park and I guess she was feeling horny or something, so she took me back to her hotel room. Then I teased her and acted hesitant and basically played hard to get for three and a half hours. She was practically salivating over me. Eventually she went ballistic and offered me ten million dollars to go down on her."

"So you really are a manwhore."

"Eh, I was really just hoping for a handout of like fifty bucks, but when she made that offer I was like 'hell yeah'."

Malon looked pained. She had one question.

"How was the famous Nabooru in bed?"

"She sucked, to be honest."

Saria had a question now.

"H-how much evidence do you have to compare that with?"

Skye smiled.

"Enough, I guess. I mean, a lot of girls find me pretty attractive, I guess, so if I'm in the mood, I can get it from pretty much whomever I want."

Zelda looked angry.

"So you corrupt girls whenever you're feeling horny?"

"Whoa, whoa. You're jumping to conclusions. I only go to the girls who already sleep around. I don't prey on innocent freshmen like you're insinuating. Also, I never date girls that I don't legitimately enjoy being around, and I rarely sleep with them."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's no biggie. So, Link's going to get some coffee. Any of you all going with him?"

Apparently, Zelda was thirsty too.

"I'd love some coffee."

Saria wasn't, but had priorities of her own.

"I'm not thirsty myself. Hey, Skye, can I come with you to hear you play?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Malon, do you want to come too?"

"No, I'm going to go home. I've got stuff to do."

Link looked at Malon with narrowed eyes. She was tense alone with him, but apparently she tightened up anywhere near Skye. Whatever story was between them, it's got to be good.

"Okay, Zelda. You coming?"

"Of course. Let's go."

Saria couldn't help but poke fun at her friends, especially because she was already thinking they would be cute together.

"Ooh, Link and Zelda... alone... who knows what would happen?"

Link looked at Zelda. With a short glance, they each saw that they had the same idea. He wrapped his arms around her and spoke in a barely-restrained voice.

"Oh Zelda, I can't resist you any longer! I've got to have you!"

She leapt into his arms.

"Oh, Link! Take me, I'm yours!"

Unable to keep straight faces any longer, everyone in the group busted out laughing. Skye actually laughed so hard tears ran down his cheeks. Link had to put Zelda down for fear of dropping her from his own convulsions of hysteria.

After all the laughing had died down, Saria got back to the topic at hand.

"Okay, you've made your point. Enjoy your coffee."

Link turned to leave, then turned back, having remembered something.

"Hey, Skye. Last year you let me live with you 'cause I couldn't get a place in the dorms. I lost out this year too. Think you could put up with me?" **(A/N: Link doesn't live in Castle town. He lives in Ordona. Everyone knows that. The school dorms are small, and not everyone can get a spot.)**

"Sure, why not? Costs me barely anything since you eat out all the time."

"That's 'cuz I can't stand my own cooking, and you, master chef, refuse to cook."

"Just because I'm the best damn cook you'll ever see doesn't mean I wouldn't rather grab an Egg McMuffin instead of make pancakes."

"Seriously though, I'd easily pay for ingredients plus ten bucks for your efforts. That first week last year, when you felt obligated to be hospitable to me, was the best food I've ever had. I swear it made me smarter."

"Ha, thanks. Anyways. Shall we go, Saria?"

He bowed deeply and offered her his arm, like true gentleman. Seeing the twinkling humor in his eyes, she took it and gripped it close. They weren't overt about the joke like Link and Zelda, but it got the retaliatory message across.

"Well, they're sure cute together."

Link looked quickly at Zelda as she said this. It was quiet enough that the pair couldn't hear, so he assumed she was being serious. When they were out of distance, and Malon had left, he asked her about it.

"You serious?"

"Yeah. They're into each other. I'm a girl, I can tell."

"Hah, I'd believe you if I didn't know that Saria is saying the same thing about us right now."

Zelda went ever so slightly red.

"W-what do you mean?"

He decided to stop leading her on and relented.

"Because she always says that when she sees a guy and a girl alone together."

"Well, is she usually right?"

He noted that she was trying to look disinterested, and that raised his spirits by quite a bit.

"Well... yeah. But that's because most guys and girls who contrive to be alone together really are into each other."

"Oh, so are you saying you're into me?"

"See, questions like that from girls are always dangerous. If you say no, they assume that means you're calling them ugly. I refuse to do that. So if you say yes and they don't like you enough, it'll create an awkward situation. I don't want either, so I won't answer that question."

"What if I were to demand an answer?"

Link grinned mischievously at her.

"Oh, you're _that_ into me? I'm flattered."

She laughed at him.

"Okay, Link. Well played. Let's go get that coffee."

**Damn. Over 3.5k words. Didn't intend to sit down and write that much. Wow. Dammit, now you all are going to expect all following chapters to be this long.**

**I kinda made Skye sound like a bit of a jackass in this chapter. It was unavoidable. I promise, he's as good a person as you can expect from a high schooler. He has his problems, yes, but I think you'll like him better after a few more chapters.**

**Yes, I'm aware that I do more spacing between dialogue than I need to in order to conform to proper format, but I'm trying to make it easy to read. If you don't like it please tell me in reviews. Just be nice about it, please. I'm fragile. Nah, just kidding. I'm fine with whatever you have to say. Just keep in mind that if you leave a general insult with no specific points that you think I could do better on, I'll ignore you. However, compliments and constructive criticism I will pay intense attention to, and will probably PM you with thanks if you give me some really good advice. That's right. It's called a double standard. That's how I roll.**

**Peace. Fallenangel2987 out.**


	2. BOY THAT'S EXPENSIVE

**Hey there, guys! Here you go. Used one of my 2 'flex holidays' for MLK day (I'm gonna regret that eventually), so I had time to write. Sorry about it being a day late, though I hope it is worth it. This chapter didn't have much substance because it's mainly to advance the plot, so I threw in a bunch of stuff for Skye's house that I wish I had. A childhood fantasy, if you will.**

_**Fixed a few instances of bad grammar. Made some changes to Skye's garage. Realized a stupid mistake I made (wrote most of this while half-asleep) in which I, for some reason, treated the 2015 Viper SRT as a sedan rather than a coupe. Considering it's like my favorite car ever, I can't believe I made that mistake. Whatever. That's the edit summary.**_

Link escorted Zelda to the coffeeshop and purchased himself a mocha. Zelda looked at him, eyes twinkling with humor. "Not offering to pay for my espresso?"

"Hell no. There are two conditions under which I buy a person a drink: Either they're one of my bros and I owe them, or it's my girlfriend and it's at least third date."

"Not much of a gentleman, are you?"

He shrugged. "It weeds out the girls who just picked a random guy to get a free dinner from."

"Ugh, I hate people that do that."

"Yup."

Zelda looked at him, her eyes betraying that she was about to tease him. "So here we are in the Awkward Zone; two people alone whose mutual friend is absent."

Link called her bluff, a sneaky look on his face. "Exactly. So we gotta get to know each other better, share some life stories. You can go first!"

"You could go first. I mean, I wouldn't want to take that honor from you."

"No, I insist!"

"Bastard."

He grinned. "Not that I'm aware of, though it's possible."

"Fine. Okay, so I'm from Kakariko, which you probably guessed."

"Uh-huh."

"Sheik is my only sibling, and my parents are divorced."

Link clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "Broken family. I feel you."

"You're the same?"

"Nah, I'm adopted. No idea who my parents are. But you go on."

"I don't go in much for sports, though I follow basketball like it's my life."

"Guessed that too. From your earlier spiel. What about the arts? Painting, music, theater? "

"Right, right... I dabble in writing and drawing. As for music, I've been complimented on my singing voice, but I don't think I sound that great."

"All good singers think they're terrible, and all bad singers think they're great. I'll ignore that opinion."

Zelda smiled in spite of herself. "Anyways, yeah. Art, music, writing. And basketball."

"I'll bet there's more to you than that. But I suppose it's my turn. I don't know who my parents are, only that I lived in an orphanage until I was about two. I was adopted early. Then my surrogate mother died a year after my birth, so all I have left is my adopted father and brother."

"Birth brother, or adopted brother?"

"Adopted brother. He's the birth child of my adopted parents. His name is Emil. Other than him, I've one other possible relative."

"Possible?"

"Yeah. You know a guy whom, I think, went to Kakariko with you? Name of Dirk?"

"Oh, yeah. Come to think of it, he looks exactly like you, only with black hair."

"I went to middle school with him. We never liked each other much, but when we first met we talked a bit. He's adopted too, and we agreed that we're probably twins."

"I'd buy that."

"But I'm digressing. So, as for what I do, you already heard that I'm a guitarist. I'm on the wrestling team, and I play video games for whatever time is left over between that and studying."

"What games?"

"Uh, Assassin's Creed, Crysis, Bioshock, TF2, Halo..."

"Holy shit! Same here!"

"You didn't say that..."

Zelda smiled a bit sheepishly. "Well, I guess I thought it was a bit... unfeminine."

"Please. Stereotypes. I don't see any difference between girls and guys other than whom I find attractive."

Now her teasing smirk from before returned. "Oh, so you have a problem with homosexuals, do you?"

He didn't bother answering that, which was enough of an answer in itself **(A/N: If that wasn't clear enough, let me tell you. Link isn't homophobic. Neither is Zelda.)** and instead said, "You feel like taking that espresso? I'm done with this place."

"Sure. Where are you going?"

"Offering to follow me?"

"For lack of anything else to do, yeah, I am."

"Meaning that you'd rather do anything else in the world."

She laughed at him. "Yeah, pretty much."

"Ouch."

"Seriously, though."

"Oh, I'm gonna go grab my bags stuff outta my locker and take it over to Skye's. I had it in there 'cause I didn't have anywhere else to take it. I just came up to town this morning in time for class."

_The Locker of Doom_

Link opened the locker. A quick inspection of the locker's contents prompted Zelda to look somewhat askance at him. "Seriously? That's all you have?"

"Yeah." The locker held a backpack, some books, and a duffel bag that wasn't big enough to hold more than maybe two pairs of jeans, a shirt, and some deodorant.

"Ugh. Guys." This was Zelda's only comment on the subject. She had originally been willing to carry something for him, but seeing what he had, she didn't bother.

After they swung by the music rooms to grab his guitars (Zelda did take two of the three), she asked,"What do you think Skye and Saria are up to?"

"Oh, I know how these things go."

"Do tell."

"They're both dead and some dumbfuck of a writer is laughing his troll ass off right now."

_Skye's house_

"Ohmygosh, it's so nice!"

"Better fucking be. I spent almost one and a half mil on the house, furniture and all. Gotta tell you, I had to buy out and demolish like 6 retail shops that were in this lot in order to build this place."

The house _was_ pretty awesome. They stood in an entry hall next to a staircase that reached up to a third floor. The banister was exquisitely carved in patterns, which looked to have been hand-done. There were hallways to the right and left, and they each turned at the corners, presumably to lead to the back side of the house. The hallways were spotted with doorways. Each floor was huge, maybe ten thousand square feet per.

"T-this place is enormous! How do you use all the space?

He grinned. "Come with me." Skye led the way down the left-hand hallway and turned the corner. There were more doorways lining the hall after the corner, and a larger doorway at the end. This was the one he selected. Opening it, he held it for Saria and motioned for her to enter.

"O-oh my gosh..."

Inside, covering the back ¼ of the first floor, was an honest-to-goodness basketball court.

"No way. I'm seeing things."

Skye grinned. "Nope. It's really here. The second floor has a paintball arena."

"What about the third floor?"

His grin grew. "Movie theater."

"Ohmygosh, you can't be serious."

He was serious. Skye again took the lead as they ascended the stairs to the third floor. As they passed through the third-floor hallways, Saria noted that all the other rooms on the floor were bedrooms. Big ones. Somewhere around a dozen of them. As they reached the end of the hall, which was identical to the first floor, Skye again opened the door for her. Sure enough, there was a motherfucking movie theater there. It didn't have more than about fifty seats, but still...

"Okay, I'm inured to this now. What's in your basement?"

To answer that, Skye entered a room that had three doors – one that went to the theater, which they entered through, and one to each side. Probably to the hallways – and was what Saria presumed to be the center of the house. Here there was a metal pole with handles on a rope going down each side of it. There was a large gap in the floor on one side, and a small one on the other. The large one was enough to fall through, and the small one was just enough for the handle-equipped rope. Saria was about to ask about it, but Skye began explaining before she could.

**(A/N: I came up with this as a kid. It's so awesome that I had to include it. If any of you invent this and get rich, I want a cut. I know it's a little impractical, but I bet there are people who would pay for something like this. It wouldn't be too hard to do.)**

"This is something I invented and built myself. It's actually very, very simple. The ropes have a one-hundred-pound resistance on them. So when you grab a handle on the side with the falling hole and step out, you fall at a more manageable speed than you would otherwise. It's like a firefighters' pole, but for normal people. The falling holes and rope holes are staggered so that you only go down one floor at a time. If you're going down multiple floors, you simply move to the other side of the pole."

"W-wha... Okay, I've seen everything now. I'm ready to try this."

"Okay. Bit of a personal question now. How much do you weigh?"

"Oh, about a hundred and twenty, a hundred and twenty-five." She didn't appear to be lying to make herself sound good. She was around five-four, maybe five-five, and slim, so it would be pretty accurate.

"All right, so you will only fall with as much force as if you weighed twenty-five pounds. So, in other words, you'll be fine. Besides, it's only fifteen feet, so you won't have much time to accelerate."

To demonstrate, Skye took hold of a handle and stepped onto nothingness. Saria, reassured, followed him after there was enough time for him to step away.

"Ohmygosh, that was so fun!", she gushed. "Can we go again?"

Skye smiled happily. He was a bit prideful, so he enjoyed it when people praised his house. "Yeah, we're going all the way down to the basement."

_First floor_

As Link has told us, Skye's basement was full of instruments of all kinds. Saria talked Skye into playing a few violin-viola duets with her (he only hesitated briefly before allowing her to play his Da Sato).

Something was bothering Saria. "Aren't you worried about your house being broken into?"

"Nah, did you see the police station across the street?" She had. "Well, considering that I'm a teenager living more or less alone in a house like this, they're required by Hylian law to keep an eye on me to make sure I'm not a drug dealer. I'm bros with the chief of police, but considering how suspicious my situation is, he's legally obliged to assign at least two officers to watch my house. They interrogate anyone suspicious trying to gain access. Prospective thieves know to give it up."

"That's pretty convenient."

"Yeah, it is. But where are my manners? I've gotta show you the greatest thing in my house!"

"Really? Something that's better than your paintball arena and mini-movie theater?"

"Yes. Yes, it is. C'mon." He led her to a door in the basement's only hallway. It was a simple metal door with a padlock on it. Like a maintenance closet.

Saria couldn't resist a jibe as Skye fiddled with his keys."Going to show me your fancy boiler and furnace?"

He grinned at her. He looked pretty normal, but he could barely contain his excitement. "Well, you can pay attention to those if you want, but I think you'll miss out."

Indeed, the house heating systems were in the room, but it seemed to be primarily a workshop. One half of it looked to be woodworking, but the other side was more geared towards automotive repair. A steel garage door was on this side of the room, with a car lift. Then that would mean...

"Don't tell me... on the other side of that door..."

"Yep."

Saria followed Skye to a smaller door next to the garage door. It led to a small room with a large vault door on the other side. But it had no keyhole lock. Instead it had a whole electronic interface on it. Skye stopped here.

"The rest of the house I managed to get together for 1.3 mil. The room we're about to go into, including this door, cost me the other 200k. But the contents of this room cost me more than another million."

Saria had already guessed what was coming, as the reader probably has by this point, and couldn't contain herself. "Please show me! Please!"

"Hold up a moment. You should know that you're the third person to have ever seen this room, not counting the guys who poured the concrete. They had no idea what it was for."

"Who's the second person?"

"Link, of course. You did catch that he lived with me last year?"

"O-oh. But you never showed it to any of your girlfriends that you talked about?"

Skye waved dismissively. "One-night stands. Not girlfriends."

"Then why are you showing me?"

"Because you seem to be a pretty good person, and because I like you."

Saria went red instantly. "... People don't normally just say that..."

"Eh, I don't fuck around. If I like somebody, I like them. And I tell them so. And if I want to hook up with someone for a night, I just tell them. So I'm telling you that I'm interested in dating you. I'm not offering yet, so don't answer, but I think people should know. Letting people agonize over it is the douchiest thing ever. Now, hush. I'm going to open this door, and if you make any extraneous noise when I put in the voice command, it won't open."

With this little speech, Skye turned to the computer panels on the door. He put in a long code that appeared to include punctuation and accented letters, allowed his eyeball to be scanned, and placed his hand on another scanner. Then he spoke, enunciating clearly: "Skye R'Tei." A twelve-gauge shotgun popped out of a panel on the wall, pointing at Saria. "And guest." It retracted. Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Computer, set guest 'Saria' threat level to zero." Finally, he said, "Open."

As the door slowly swung open, he turned back to Saria. "Now, if you come in here by accident, even if you don't know the code or anything, it won't act against you because it won't recognize you as a threat."

She appeared to think about this. "You mean, anyone else who comes in will be shot?"

"No, but if they try to break into the vault, it'll fire a tranquilizer dart into them and alert the police. I hope that doesn't happen though, because then I'd have to explain this whole setup to them. And that would be awkward."

The door finished opening. Sure enough, it was an underground garage with more than a dozen cars in it. As the lights turned on, Saria gasped.

"Ohmygosh... you have.. what... how do you even afford... HOLY SHIT!"

This reaction, Skye suspected, would be about par for the course with most people.

Cadillac CTS-V coupe. A BMW M6 and a Z4 roadster. Ford GTR1. A Chevrolet Corvette ZO6 and a Camaro ZL1. Lotus Elise S. Mitsubishi Eclipse. Scion FR-S. Aston Martin V12 Vantage S and a Vanquish. Dodge Viper SRT. Mercedes S-class sedan and SLS-class coupe. Volkswagen XL1. Ford Mustang GT. Mazda Miata. Tesla Roadster. Porsche 911 S. And a Ford F-450 Platinum truck to top it off.

**(A/N: For those of you that don't know/don't care about cars, a Ford GT is different from a Mustang GT. A Mustang GT is a performance sports car, and a GT is a supercar. Just so no one is confused.) (Another A/N: If you're not familiar with any of these cars, go Google them. You'll be doing yourself a favor.)**

Saria had completely lost it."OHMYGOSH! You gotta let me drive one! Please?"

Skye was beaming. Perhaps he was enjoying her reaction a liiiiittle too much. "Sure, but can you drive stick?"

Saria's face fell a little bit. "No. Are all of them manual transmission?"

"Most of them. The S-class and G is automatic. So is the truck. Oh yeah, and the Eclipse. I don't remember whether the Mustang is automatic or manual, because it's Link's car and I bought it for him while I was drunk. I lost a bet. Long story. You're familiar with all of these cars, yes?"

Saria was indeed a car enthusiast. "Yeah. Please let me drive one of them?"

"Okay, but you have to take a ride with me first, so I can show off."

Saria was wondering about the truck. "Why the hell do you have a super duty truck? I mean, it's not like you run a construction business or anything. You're never gonna need that much power."

"Oh, you know, something is bound to come up, so I decided to be prepared. And if you got any impression of me from this house, I think you already realized that if I do something, I do it all the way."

Saria now had another thought. "Wait. How do you get them out of here?"

Skye motioned to a large metal plate in the center of the room.

"No. You're kidding."

"Nope. Hop in."

"You're a fucking Batman wannabe." Sure enough, the necessary hydraulic pumps were in place around the metal plate. These would easily be able to lift any of the cars.

She took a seat in the BMW Z4. Skye moved to the driver's seat. Before he turned on the ignition, he called Link up.

"Yeah?"

"Where you at right now?"

"I'm at the bus station with Zelda. I was about to board and get over there. I can't walk two miles carrying all this."

"Don't get on. I decided to show Saria the garage. I'll come pick you up."

"Suit yourself."

Skye realized something. "Silly me. If we're going to get Link and Zelda, we can't very well take the Z4."

They stepped out and moved to his S-class. As they moved down the line, she noticed a VW Passat behind the F-450 that she hadn't before.

"That seems a little out of place here."

Skye shrugged. "I got it to teach Link how to drive stick. I decided to keep it in case I had to teach anyone else. Besides, it doesn't cost me anything past the initial cost. I decided not to insure any of these, since you aren't required to get auto insurance in Hyrule. I'm an extremely good driver – I legitimately don't believe myself to be bragging – and I know each of these cars inside and out. Any repairs to be made I can do myself. The decision was compounded by the fact that I drive so seldomly."

"You GOTTA teach me stick and let me drive the Eclipse."

"Sure, sure. But is the Eclipse really the car you like most out of these?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. Only, it's actually about my least favorite car here. If I'm being perfectly honest."

"Alright, then let's go get them."

She loaded herself into the passenger seat of the S-class. Skye started it up. The sound of the engine gave him a wide smile. "Awesome car. It's like a monster. I love the sound of the engine."

As he pulled onto the metal plate, he pulled out his iPhone and opened an app. With a tap of the screen, the hydraulic pumps engaged, opening the roof and lifting the car. He pulled the beast onto the driveway, then tapped again. The platform lowered and the corresponding plate on the driveway closed.

"So it's down to the bus station, is it, Bruce Wayne?"

Skye put the car in gear after revving his engine a couple of times. "Quiet, you. This car is silver. Besides, the Batmobile is a Lamborghini Murcielago." He pulled the car out of the driveway and accelerated to the speed limit within three seconds.

Saria shrieked at the exhilaration of it, then laughed. "You're fucking your gas mileage, you know."

"But it's fun..."

She was really laughing now. "It had better be, with the amount you have to pay for it."

Skye shrugged. "I can buy as much gas as I want with practically no cost to myself. When I first came into my fortune, I went around to all the banks in town and told them that I wanted 5% interest, compounded quarterly. They refused. I told them that I walked away from all their competitors, and they thought I was bluffing. Then I told them to suit themselves, and left. One of them decided to call the managers of the other banks, and after he found out that I was perfectly willing to leave if I didn't get the interest that I wanted, he couldn't take my money fast enough. A bank can do a lot with 10m. Anyways, these days, I have around 7.5m sitting in there. I'm getting $375k every three months, and the bank has skyrocketed to be the biggest around."

"Wow, you're really rolling in the dough."

"Yeah, I'm not even gonna go to college. I can live the rest of my life on this shit."

As the speed limit moved to 55 (the high school campus was not technically in town, it was a few miles out), Skye accelerated again. The S-class' engine responded joyfully, roaring hungrily. "Damn, I love my cars."

Saria enjoyed the feeling too. "Yeah, it's a hell of an engine in this thing."

_He's got money, he likes music, he loves cars... and he's really quite sweet on the inside, though he seems a douche at first... and he likes me!_

_Man, this girl is great. And I think she's into me!_

**Kinda fulfilling my dream house in this chapter. Sorry if it seems immature. When you're twenty-four and you've got a job and a girlfriend, your imagination kinda shifts away from girls to cars and houses.**

**Fallenangel2298 out. (Oh yeah, I changed my name. Long story.)**


	3. Epona has 662 horsepower

**What up, guys? Got a new chapter for ya. You lucky bastards are getting it on Saturday this week! Isn't that great?**

**#1 question I've received in PM's: Why is Skye so secretive about his underground garage? Well, consider this. If you, as guy in high school, possessed such a garage, you would do one of two things. Either you would go around telling everyone how awesome your cars were to show off, or you would keep it a secret so you felt cool (like James Bond or something). Skye is comfortable enough with his own identity that he doesn't need to do the first one – he doesn't need to prove anything to himself – so he chooses the second option. Basically, he does it because it makes him feel like a badass. Yes, this creates the plot hole of the police surveillance guys knowing about his garage. I'll tell you right now: I'm aware of this. I don't care. Just roll with it. Please, please don't give me shit in PM's and reviews about it.**

**Actually, there will, in all likelihood, be minor plot holes throughout this story. Rest assured that I am indeed aware of each of them specifically, and may fix some of the bigger ones. Seriously, I notice every single plot hole. Most of them I fix while writing, and some I don't bother to. So don't bring my attention to them. I already know. I just don't care. Call me a bad writer for it, whatever.**

**There was a confusing line in the last chapter that I'm only noticing now. I didn't forget that the Eclipse was an automatic transmission, I just worded it badly. Saria saying **"You GOTTA teach me stick and let me drive the Eclipse." **was intended as two separate requests rather than one two-part request. It would have been better written something like this: **"You gotta let me drive the Eclipse. And please teach me stick!"** I doubt if anyone noticed, but it was worth mentioning.**

**Either way. Knock yourself out. Read the darn thing. I would say that I hope you enjoy it, but everyone says that and, personally (I don't know, someone else might), I wouldn't post it if I thought no one would like it. So instead of telling you I hope you enjoy it, I'll compliment you by assuming that you're intelligent enough to infer it.**

Skye pulled his beautiful silver Mercedes **(A/N: In my opinion, all Mercedes cars should be silver. It just seems right**) up to the curb near the bus station, wherein Link and Zelda were waiting for them. He popped the trunk and waited for them to load Link's stuff in. All three guitars plus the backpack and duffel bag were stuffed into the trunk, and the pair piled into the backseat.

Skye greeted them. "Hey, guys. Zelda, Link's manners didn't scare you off yet?"

This drew out a laugh. "Oh, no. He's as polite as anyone else."

Link was looking around him. "When did you get this one? It's a Mercedes E-class, right?"

"Oh, hell no! S-class AMG 4MATIC."

"W-what? Dude! This is a 140k car!"

Skye loved it when people were awestruck by his automotive superiority. "Tell me something I don't know."

"What else did you get over the summer?"

"Two BMWs, a 6 series and a Z4 sDrive35is Roadster. I got a Cadillac CTS-V coupe. Oh yeah, a second Aston Martin – a Vanquish. I sold off my Viper and Corvette and got the new models. Replaced my old Camaro with a new ZL1, and I got this one in yellow with black racing stripes. Just 'cause. Transformers."

"Hah, so you have Bumblebee now. Great."

"Exactly. Oh, and I almost forgot, I picked up a VW XL1."

"Really? How'd you do that?"

"Hah. It wasn't easy. But with enough cash, it is indeed possible to buy prototype cars."

"How is it?"

"Well, it's got killer gas mileage – 261 mpg – (A/N: That's not a typo. It seriously has over 260 miles to the gallon. I strongly urge you to look it up). I'm not really worried about gas prices, though, and its performance is negligible. Plus the overall appearance? Ew. It's straight out of Star Trek."

"Seriously? I think it looks pretty awesome."

"Meh. I'm gonna return it, I think. Anyways, there's one last thing I thought you might like to hear."

This got Link's attention. "What?"

Skye almost managed to hide his smile. _Almost._ "Maybe I'll let you wait to find out."

"Dude. Not cool."

Skye gave in. "I supercharged your GT500."

Link did indeed like to hear that. "Dude, you're the best. Brofist."

After the aforementioned brofist had occurred, Zelda had to voice her opinion. "Well, you guys may be extremely involved in this conversation, but honestly, I don't know shit about cars. Care to fill me in?"

Link opened his mouth to start explaining, but she cut him off. "Actually, never mind that. Every time Saria starts trying to tell me about cars I fall asleep. Skye, mind taking us away?"

Skye did not mind one bit. Again he floored the gas pedal, showing again his previous distaste for the usual methods of getting up to the speed limit. And also showing that Zelda was able to create a most amusing scream when taken by surprise. This elicited a grin from Skye. "And Skye said, 'let there be acceleration. And there was acceleration. And Skye felt the acceleration, and it was good, and Skye saw that it was good."

Link snorted. "Don't get ahead of yourself."

Zelda recovered her composure. "Does he always do that?"

"Yep. He loves surprising people with the capability of his various high-end cars, and he'll do it every time there's a person driving with him for the first time."

Skye nodded at the accurate assessment of himself. "Yep. Also it shows people how much power I have, which starts them thinking about how great I am, bringing their attention back to how dashingly handsome I am."

Saria nudged his shoulder playfully. "Get over yourself."

"I'll have to get over you first. And that could take a while."

Saria went red immediately. In the backseat, Link nudged Zelda, gripped the door handle on his side, and raised his eyebrows. A devilish look colored his face. She responded with a knowing smile, letting him know that his plan was conveyed. Link started it. "You know, Zelda, I could use some fresh air."

"Same here. Skye, Saria. Pull over and drop us off. We'll walk the rest of the way."

The pair in the front seats could not latch onto the idea fast enough. "Yes, why don't you do that? Saria and I can take your stuff back for you."

"Yeah, Skye and I will be fine. Enjoy your walk."

Skye pulled over the S-class and unlocked the doors.

But the plan wasn't actually to take a walk. "You know what, I can just open my window. Never mind. Keep driving."

The disappointment that flashed over Skye's face – and was more obvious on Saria – told Link and Zelda what they wanted to know.

_Skye's house_

As they walked in, Link instantly started scheming. "Okay, Skye. Knowing you, you probably promised to let Saria drive one of your cars, right?"

A nod from Skye confirmed this. "Okay, you two go do that. Which bedroom do you want me to take?"

Skye thought for a moment. "Well, bedroom four is kinda messy, so you probably don't want that. Bedroom eight reeks of pot – _thanks_, Japas, you fuckin' stoner. Remind me to get that cleared out – and of course bedroom one is off limits. Master bedroom's mine. Other than that, take whatever you want."

Link sniggered. "I'll take bedroom twelve. Last thing I need is to hear all the details of your midnight escapades." **(****A/N: ****Bedroom eleven is diametrically opposed to bedroom one. There are twelve bedroom suites in Skye's house, and they go in a half-circle around the top floor of his house.)**

Skye laughed this off. "I'll probably be taking a break from those for a while. For... various reasons." This last statement was accompanied by a seemingly involuntary glance at Saria, eliminating whatever doubts Link and Zelda had about the situation.

"'K. Get your ass down to the garage. Make sure you parked the S-class square on the plate before you lower it."

"Man, you always say that. I don't NEED to check my park. I always park perfectly, just like the rest of my driving."

Link shrugged. "I still haven't got used to the idea of treating such expensive cars so casually. Sue me."

Skye descended the stairs with Saria and left Link and Zelda to ascend to the third floor. As they entered the designated bedroom suite, Zelda opened the conversation that Link had set up the situation for them to have by getting rid of the other two. "So, Skye and Saria. I don't think we can do anything to stop that from happening without alienating our friends."

Unconsciously, Link and Zelda treated each other as though they had known each other forever.

Link had a different opinion."Well, I mean, would we want to?"

Zelda looked askance at him. "Saria's a virgin. Skye is sexually experienced and treats it like no big deal. He'll ruin her."

"Nah, you don't know Skye like I do. He has an odd way of approaching girls. He always straight up tells girls what he wants from them. When he's only after sex, he makes sure they know that. When he wants to date someone, he tells them. He dates girls all the time, and, to my knowledge, he's only had a sexual relationship with one of them. He has a very distinct separation in his mind between girls he enjoys being with and those he just wants to sleep with. He doesn't take girls' virginity, as a policy, and he actually ends up being a true gentleman when he cares about someone."

Zelda was very doubtful. "Maybe so. But maybe the girls he enjoyed being with before just weren't attractive enough for him to sleep with. And Saria definitely doesn't fit into that category."

Link had to admit that. "Yeah, Saria's hot, but so were half a dozen other chicks Skye's dated before. Besides, think about what he said when I mentioned 'midnight escapades'. He was obviously talking about Saria when he said that wouldn't happen. That's tantamount to a statement that he has no intention of having sexual intercourse with her. And you shouldn't forget that Saria is a strong-willed girl. She wouldn't let him do anything she didn't absolutely want him to."

"You must not see her around boys very often. She can get pretty submissive when she is into a guy."

"She's still smart enough to not let a guy get into her pants if she doesn't legitimately want it."

Zelda shrugged. "Have it your way."

But now that the issue of Skye and Saria's mutual attachment was no longer plaguing her, Zelda was taking more notice of her surroundings. "Damn, this house is really fuckin' nice."

Link grinned. "Yep. Wait'll you see the basement."

After he put his guitars with Skye's instruments, he showed her the garage. She was suitably impressed, and even more so after he explained the capabilities of each vehicle. But he was somewhat flabbergasted when he came to the BMW M6. It was enough to make him call Skye.

"What's up?"

"I thought you said you had a BMW 6 series."

"Yeah, I do."

"That's an _M6_, not a 6 series."

"It counts as part of the 6 series, doesn't it?"

"Well, yeah, I suppose you could put it that way, but it's twice the cost and twice as powerful!"

Skye laughed. "Okay, okay. Whatever. Trying to teach Saria how to handle a sports car."

"How's she doing?"

"Fine. I still can't believe she didn't want to drive, for instance, the Corvette. Or the Viper. No respect for horsepower."

A muffled smack. "Ow! Hey!"

Link couldn't help but laugh at that. "Okay, okay. Tell Saria to enjoy herself." He hung up.

"All right, time to test out the supercharge on my Mustang. Zelda, you coming?"

She was indeed coming. He got in and turned it on, the response causing him to grin wildly. "Good lord, she sounds like a beast! Good girl, Epona!"

Seeing Zelda's raised eyebrow, he explained. "Epona was a horse that Malon let me ride when we were children together. She died in a terrible accident and I never really got over it – I met her when I was four and she died when I was 12 – until Skye bought me this GT500. When I put two and two together, since the Mustang's symbol is, of course, a horse, I named it after her. I even talk to her sometimes and pretend she's the genuine article. But... it doesn't always work. I grew up with that horse... she was more than that to me. She was a companion, a friend..."

Seeing the tears in his eyes, Zelda leaned over and put her hand on his shoulder. Brushing her lips against his cheek, she said softly, "I'm sorry. Everyone loses something important to them. Just think about it this way. Could Epona talk to you?"

He didn't respond, knowing that it was a rhetorical question.

"The horse is no longer Epona. The horse is unimportant. The car is Epona now. Don't consciously pretend that she's just a substitute for the former one; believe that she's the real thing, because she is. The car is Epona, and she can feel things just the same as the horse could."

"I could believe that, but it wouldn't be true."

"Who cares? If you believe it, it doesn't matter."

Link looked gratified. "I guess you're right." Putting the car in first, he moved onto the lift and pushed the 'up' button.

Once out of the driveway, he kicked it up into third gear for the road, laughing maniacally at the feel and sound of the car.

Zelda looked askance at him. His only response was this: "Can you tell that I really, really like this car?"

She only answered him in her head.

_Can you tell that I really, really like **you**?_

**More character development! We're still in the exposition, folks. You'll meet the rest of the cast soon enough. Enjoy your early chapter!**

**For those of you people that tell me in PM's that you want me to pair Link with Ruto: No. I hate Ruto. Other people love her, but I don't. In my stories, she will always be a slutty, brainless whore who has some creepy attachment to Link. Except for in "What if Link Lost?". She died from a mixture of STD's in that one. Stalfos syphilis can be deadly.**


	4. Legend of the Red Chicken

**Sorry about the super late chapter. Just didn't have enough in me to finish the chapter last night. (Translation: I may or may not have had a few too many beers during the Super Bowl.)**

**Ending of the last chapter was too touchy-feely, I know. But there is no Link without Epona. That's my one beef with Skyward Sword. You took away EPONA and replaced her with a RED CHICKEN! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SMOKING, NINTENDO?!**

_9:30 AM_

Somehow, Link and everyone in his class made it out of Personal Fitness alive. Darmani apparently did not realize that not everyone had the same physical abilities as he had, and they felt the pain of that. Literally. Link was looking forwards to Biology, being very much curious as to whether Skye had said anything to Saria the previous day. Skye had left her off at her dorms the previous day during their drive – her pleading a pressing homework assignment – and had been rather tight-lipped since then. Hopefully, Saria would be able to elucidate the situation for him.

Once arriving there, he was indeed informed of what Skye had told her at the entrance to his underground garage. And it was Zelda that asked the obvious question.

"What are you going to do about it?"

Saria's eyes darted to her left and she scratched her nose. "Oh, I don't know... probably nothing..."

And that was where Link caught her. "Zelda, it might as well be official. Skye and Saria are gonna be a couple."

This caused her to flush a deep red. "W-what!"

Malon looked uncomfortable about the news, but still contributed. "Link, there's a Criminology course taught here, right?" A nod from him signaled her to continue. "I'd imagine he took that course. Saria, you're right-handed. Peoples' eyes move subconsciously when they're thinking, and the direction indicates what they're thinking about. And the direction for trying to make something up is the side of your non-dominant hand. Furthermore, blood goes to your ears and nose when you lie, making them itch. The combination of your two movements is an almost one hundred percent proof that you're lying."

Link was curious. "Yeah, you're right, but how'd you know that?"

Before Malon could giver an answer, Zelda did it for her. "She probably read a book. She always reads books."

By this point, Saria was flushed a deep crimson. "Fine, I'm going to date him. No big deal."

But Link was already shaking his head. "No, no. You tried to hide your feelings. That's pretty much code for 'I like this guy so much that I feel embarrassed about it'. You're further into him than Ruto is into me."

Understandably, Saria wanted to change the topic, and she seized on Link's last sentence to do this. "How are you doing with avoiding her?"

"Pretty well, actually. She still shows up to guitar club, but I manage to keep her off me by hinting that I'd be more interested in her if she learned to play the damn instrument. It gets her to spend the time trying to teach it to herself, and away from me."

Zelda was a mite curious now. "So your guitar club is like a band, or what?"

This drew a long-suffering groan from Link. "Ugh, no. I hate people that do that. Such a fucking misnomer. If your guitar club is a band, actually call it a fucking band. No, we're just a bunch of people that hang out and play guitar after school on Wednesdays."

"And I think I heard you're the president?"

"Yeah. I'm not the best player, that's Mikau, but I'm the only one with enough pull on Principal Gaebora to get him to allow us to be a thing. So I'm the president."

"Why is that?"

"Oh, it's a long story. I'll tell it another time."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Nah, it's not important enough. You'll forget and I won't ever have to explain myself."

"Oh, no, now that you've said that, I won't. You'll be telling me that story."

Link now played his trump card. "Oh, that's unfortunate. I suppose I'll have to... _distract_... you." He finished this off with a very roguish wink, making his intentions very clear.

This brought a laugh from everyone present. "Well played, Link. Well played." But she frowned. "That's the second time in two days I've told you that. I'll have to step it up."

"How far up? Because I promise you, I can get further up."

Zelda kicked him playfully. "Okay, you're done. You're in timeout now. No more innuendos."

"For how long?"

"Until I say so."

"I'm not sure I like this system of government. I may have to plan a revolution."

"Don't push me, Link. Don't make me go all King George on your ass."

"King George was a legit lunatic, and, among other things, he would randomly strip off his clothes and run around until his guards could hold him down and dress him. In other words, I'd be fine with that."

This earned him another kick. "I said you're done. One more and I kick you somewhere worse."

"Please, spare me!"

After that, the conversation devolved into meaningless chatter, which, I am sure, the reader does not have the time for.

_After school_

Again, Link, Zelda, Saria, and Malon ended up together after school got out. They talked about this and that for a while in a courtyard until Skye approached. Upon seeing him, Malon made some hasty excuses and left in the opposite direction. Link watched her with narrowed eyes. _Definitely something fishy with those two. Not sure what. But I'll find out._

"Hey, guys. What's up?"

Zelda was the first one to answer. "What's up is that you and Saria are gonna go out right now, because you've both admitted to being into each other, and it would be idiotic not to."

Link was surprised, because it was his first time ever seeing Skye taken aback by anything, and possibly the second time he had seen Skye ask for clarification: "Wait, what?"

Zelda grinned at him. "You heard me. You are taking Saria to do something right now. You told Saria you're into her. She admitted to us she's into you. Ergo, you should go out."

Saria, of course, was speechless.

After the initial shock of Zelda's forwardness, Skye cracked a smile. "Yeah, that's more or less how I operate. Saria, you game?" She was. As they walked off together, they heard him ask what she wanted to do.

"Well, you certainly turned the tables on him there. Skye is used to being the one to surprise people with his candor."

"I figured. He deserved it."

"But what surprised me was that you changed your mind about them so quickly. You were kinda hesitant yesterday."

Again, Link and Zelda were talking like old friends who knew each other inside and out, though they had only met the day before.

Zelda shrugged. "I realized that it's not my business to get between them. She likes him, and he likes her. They deserve a chance."

"I'm glad you see it that way."

And in a weird way, so was she. For some reason, the idea of Skye and Saria together appealed to her.

_Outside the restaurant: Giordano's Pizza_

"Seriously? Pizza?"

Skye looked hurt, and Saria was instantly sorry she spoke. She hadn't meant to say that his choice was bad, merely that she hadn't expected that."Sorry, just, from what I've seen of you, you seemed a touch more flamboyant than pizza. I was thrown for a moment"

"I am. This is the most flamboyant fucking pizza you'll ever eat in your life."

"Really? I've had some good ones in my time."

"Let me put it this way. You've eaten Dominoes? Pizza Hut? Little Caesar's?"

"Yes?"

"Tasteless." **(A/N: I couldn't resist the reference to ****The Princess Bride****.)**

"Really? It's that good?"

"Better," he said, grinning.

_Soon after, walking down the street_

"Oh my gosh, that was the best pizza I've ever had!"

"I told you so."

"You did, didn't you?"

"I did."

"It's so cool that they baked it with the toppings inside the cheese and the tomato sauce on top. It was like a pizza pie!"

"Yeah, it's called Chicago Style. But that's beside the point. It's only three o'clock. You have much homework?"

"No. It's only the second day of school."

"Mkay, you want to see a movie then? Is Catching Fire still in theaters?"

"Probably not. It's been like two months. Besides, I already saw it. It was... well, better done than The Hunger Games, I guess. I'd be down to watch it again. Do you want to go see if it's still around?"

Skye did, and it was still in the theater, for whatever reason. They decided to stay and watch it. Exiting the theater, they walked down they walked down the street towards the parking garage. A shop door opened as a person went out. The news was on in the shop, and they caught a few words of the voice before it closed again. "In other news, Castle Town's Mercedes dealer has acquired a sought-after supercar, an SLR..."

Skye had been about to speak, but stopped dead in his tracks. "Did I just hear what I think I heard?"

She confirmed it. "Yeah, there's only one thing that he could have been saying. A Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren roadster. I can't believe there's one in this town."

"Dealers don't often get them shipped in. It's too hard to sell them. So prospective buyers have to pay a truckload of extra money to have someone bring it to them. Which is mostly why I don't already have one. On top of that $275k price tag... you know? Anyways, please forgive me. I don't want it to go to someone else. I'm going over there right now. I'm so sorry for leaving you..."

Saria stared. "Skye! That's super rude!"

He looked chastened. "Sorry. You're more important than any car."

Now she was laughing. "That's not what I meant, you numbwit! Take me with you!"

He appeared taken aback for a moment, then nodded. "Eight blocks to the parking structure. That's most of a mile. Can you run that far without stopping?"

"Yes, but nowhere near as fast as you can."

He'd been expecting that, and nodded again. "In that case, I'll run and grab the car, then come back for you."

She waited for him to return, and he was only minutes in doing so. He rolled up, revving the engine while he rolled up to the curb in neutral, behind the wheel of his SLS roadster. Saria, thinking thought this was extremely funny, and told him so after getting in. "You're going off to buy an SLR while driving an SLS?"

He pulled away as quickly as the car would allow, swearing about 5:00 downtown traffic. "Yes. I'm sure Jake will get a kick out of that."

"Jake?"

"The manager of the Mercedes dealership. I know all the managers around here pretty well. None of them have more than five employees, so they're usually around whenever I show up, needing to fix something. I do all my repair myself, but I always buy parts from dealerships. Brand-name parts always work better, and I'm picky about my cars."

"I would be, too, if I owned cars like yours."

The driver in front of them failed to move when the light turned green. Instead of honking, Skye put the car in neutral and revved the engine up to 6,000 RPM. The driver in front laid down about twelve feet of rubber off the tires of his Prius, thinking that Skye was in drive and was about to rear-end him. Saria didn't stop laughing for minutes, recalling the look on the driver's face in his rearview mirror.

_Mercedes-Benz dealership_

Jake rose from his desk to shake Skye's hand.

"I had a feeling you would be showing up sooner or later."

"You felt damn right."

Jake looked surprisingly young for a person running a business – perhaps twenty-four, twenty-five. Presumably he'd inherited it from a family member.

"Who is the lovely lady?"

Skye snorted. "Who uses that expression anymore? This is Saria, and I believe she doesn't appreciate being talked about as though she isn't present."

"My apologies, Saria. I'm very glad to meet you. Presumably, I am Mr. Fells, but I prefer to be addressed by my first name, Jake."

Shaking his hand, Saria said, "I don't think I've ever felt so much like curtseying as I do now."

"Again, my apologies. I sound too formal."

Skye grinned. (Here, Saria notes that Skye has a very limited number of expressions.) "He runs a Mercedes dealership. He spends all his time dealing with rich, foppish bastards. That's why he sounds like he's from a Jane Austen book."

This last line drew an amused smile from Jake. "Even as you say. It is much easier to make my business tone into my normal dialect than it would be to change my way of speaking three times a day."

But Skye was beginning to grow impatient. "You know why I'm here, Jake."

"I do. Do you wish to test-drive it first?"

"Please tell me it's manual transmission."

"Indeed."

"In answer to your question, what I wish is for it to be signed over to me before some idiot CEO who's never driven a performance car in his life walks in and offers you half a mil for it. So I'll skip the test drive. You'll want somewhere upwards of 250k for it, right?"

"The nominal price will be $268,500. I believe it is time for you to pretend that you are poor and have no money so that you can get a discount?"

"I would, if I didn't know that you knew it was absolute bullshit."

"Absolutely. Now, with most people, I would hold a conversation about loans and such at this point. But with you, I have to act like a cashier and ask, 'cash or credit?'"

"Right."

_Ten minutes later, in the parking lot_

Now Skye had a new dilemma. "Ugh, I forgot. You can't drive stick."

"How are we going to get both cars back?"

Jake had the solution, stepping forward. "I'll drive your SLS for you. Take Saria with you in your new McLaren. I'll close up and walk home from your house; selling a two hundred and seventy thousand dollar car is a perfectly good reason to close at 5:15 instead of 6:00."

"That's right, you live pretty close to me, don't you?"

"Four blocks to my apartment. Easily managed."

_A half-hour time skip (sorry about having so many of these)_

Skye and Saria stood on his doorstep after Jake left. "Well, shall we go inside?"

"Sure."

Ever the true gentleman, Skye hung up Saria's coat for her. Looking up the stairs, a thought struck her. "Skye, why didn't we watch the movie here?"

"Eh, I thought it would be more romantic to go out to the theater. That's why they call dates 'going out' and not 'going in'."

"Excellent point. What do you want to do now, then?"

"Well, have you ever heard of the game series 'Legend of Hilde'?" **(A/N: In this universe, the Legend of Zelda games are all about Lorule, and its characters replace those of Hyrule. There is no Link Between Worlds. By the way, has anyone caught this: HYrule – like HIGH rule – and LOrule – like LOW rule? Wow, Nintendo. Wow.)**

After Saria was introduced to Legend of Hilde, they spent a couple hours playing Halo. Skye made some grilled cheese sandwiches for the two of them. By that time, it was getting close to nine, and Skye decided that it was time he got down to practicing some basketball. Saria declined to stay and watch. Even as Zelda was made ill by long discussions about cars, so Saria was disinterested in an environment totally engrossed with basketball. Again, Skye took the gentlemanly route and drove her to campus, even walking her to the dorms.

As they stood outside her door, they said their goodbyes. And, as usual, Skye didn't hesitate to be forward with her."Goodnight, Saria."

Stepping forward, he put his left arm behind her back and his right hand behind her head, bending over to press his lips against hers. There was a small squeak of surprise from Saria, but she was not resisting. Even as she marveled at the firm smoothness of his lips, so he loved the softness of hers. Breaking away, he placed another kiss on her forehead, and then stepped back.

For some reason, Skye was so calm about it that Saria didn't even feel awkward or embarrassed. All she did was say, "Night," and close the door softly.

Feeling a tap on her shoulder, she turned around to find that, to her extreme mortification, Zelda and Malon were standing behind her. Malon looked slightly put out, but Zelda was beaming.

"Well then, seems like that went well. Why don't you tell us all about it?"

**Yes, yes, I know. This is supposed to be a LinkxZelda story. I'm trying to get Skye and Saria out of the way so that I can get to the good stuff. It's really hard to focus on two relationships at once, as a writer. One more chapter on S&S, and then we can get into the good stuff.**

**Yes, Skye has two more cars already. But I'm trying to make it clear that Skye and Saria just don't get together without cars coming up in some way or another. The two care quite a bit about the subject, and I'm trying to establish that firmly.**

**Again, sorry for being super late. Super bowls. Awesome and terrible at the same time.**

**I was for the Broncos. I don't care about either team, but Peyton Manning is cool, so, you know...**

**Giordano's is a real restaurant. It's a Chicago chain, and there are about 7 of them in the city. I don't live in Chicago – about 500 miles away, actually – but I've been through on numerous occasions and make a point of stopping for some awesome pizza each time. I have to book my table well in advance, though. =D**

**FallenAngel2298 out.**


	5. Coffee and Conversation

**Sorry it took so long to get a new chapter up, folks. I wish I had the time to stick to the once-a-week goal that I set myself, but it just didn't turn out that way. Life happens, I guess. Anyways, since it's been a while, I have a lot to talk about before the story starts! If you don't care, go ahead and skip down to the non-bolded part.**

**It's been noted in the past that Skye and Saria seem to be progressing a little too quickly as a pairing. There is a reason for this. I simply want to get them out of my way so I can get into the LinkxZelda storyline. Yes, Skye's situation is a little too convenient, having so much money and stuff. This is for two reasons: one, because I am obsessed with cars, especially those that I could never dream of owning. Two, because it gives me a little leeway in that if I ever need to have any of the characters acquire something that they never would have been able to otherwise, I have a quick explanation for it: Skye bought it. You dig?**

**It's been hinted before that I took ideas from the story Only Chosen Love. While I initially denied it, I am going to have to admit that, after rereading the first couple chapters of it, there are more similarities than I thought. One such example is Instructor Gaebora being the principal of their high school. In fact, I could have sworn that the Sage Rauru was the principal in OCL. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that while there are major similarities, they're unintentional. I'm going to mark any other instances of said similarities up to subconscious and leave it at that. Gomen nasai, Shinigami-Zelda-sama!**

**Also, remember that you have Google right in front of you while you're reading this. If you're not familiar at all with a car I mention, I urge you to just search it. While I love getting into extended discussions with fellow car enthusiasts, if you don't know anything about the car then I really think it would be better for you to just search it. And much faster, especially if I'm not logged on when you send the message. Which is pretty likely, considering the absurd level of busy that I've been lately.**

**To my dear friend the guest reviewer: I'm glad that you think that the Hyrule/Lorule thing was obvious and that everyone noticed it. It means that I'm not an idiot.**

**To falconer12345: Thanks a lot for the awesome messaging conversation we had. It was a pretty great thing to take my mind off a shitty day at work. You are indeed right, the SLR McLaren was never built with manual transmission. Let me make this clear for everyone out there: I ARE TEH AUTHORZ I DO WHAT EVOR I WANT DO U UNDRSTAND**

**Last item: If you haven't yet, you need to go to my profile and find "Travels through Time and Love" by GodAwfulLag on my favorites list. The story's awesome and the author is a chill bro. There are 8 chapters so far, but they're short; should only take you a few minutes to get through. Totally worth your time.**

**Okay, enough talk. Let's get down to this shit. It's double-length as an apology for taking so long.**

After detailing the events of the day to her roommates and accepting their respective comments (none of which were anywhere near important enough to record here), she stepped into the bathroom to relieve herself.

"I still can't believe that the dorms at this school are so nice. Back at Kakariko, they just had one bathroom per floor and that was it."

Zelda shrugged. "Well, this is the primary high school for all of Hyrule. Look, as a regional school, Kakariko was lucky to have dormitories at all. I mean, here, they have students from all over, so they pretty much have to provide student housing, but there? We were lucky not to have to get an apartment somewhere."

Malon was in bed already. "Go to fucking sleep, you guys. Jeez!"

"Yes, mistress."

_Next morning, an hour before classes start_

In an instance of odd coincidence that is a significant factor in all stories, Link and Skye happened to choose to acquire their early-morning coffee at the same shop as Saria. After their initial greetings, they sat down at the table and were already engrossed in a discussion about – you guessed it – cars.

"Look, Skye, all I'm saying is that the Camaro Z/28 is the racing Camaro, not the ZL1. I'm not telling you that you made the wrong decision."

Now Saria was confused. "Wait, it's the racing car? What are you talking about? Everyone knows that the ZL1 is more powerful than the Z/28."

Skye didn't actually have an answer for that."Yeah, I don't get it either. Actually, on the Chevy website, the listing for the Z/28 shows 505 horsepower, while the ZL1 shows 580 horsepower. What you probably didn't know is that the ZL1 featured has a supercharged engine, and the listed Z/28 does not. I'd be willing to bet that a supercharged Z/28 gets up over 580, though I can't say for sure."

"Oh. Well, then, why didn't you get the Z/28?"

"Because it's just generally not worth it. For one thing, it's way more expensive. For another, it has one option, which adds air conditioning and speakers to a cooling-less, audio-free car. It's only a tiny difference in horsepower, for a huge difference in comfortability. And it's just not as good-looking. The ZL1 keeps the awesome look of the ZR1, and adds a bunch of power and luxury besides. And you've gotta admit, the current Camaro design is just so fucking badass. It's American through and through. Besides, it's a fuckin' iconic design. I mean, look at a BMW. You could put my M6 right up next to a plain old 3 series and most people wouldn't be able to tell the difference. But a Camaro? Everyone knows it's an awesome car."

**(A/N: "American through and through"= Everyone knows that Hyrule is the 51st state of our glorious U S of A.)**

"Good point. I will still never take it over my GT500, though."

A shrug. "To each his own. I'll always be more of a Chevy man."

"Says the dude with an F-450 truck."

"Well, Ford cares more about trucks than Chevy does, okay?"

"Fusion fucks an Impala clean up the ass."

"Touchè."

"Chevy needs two cars to compete with Ford's single Mustang."

"And both of them kick it clean outta the park."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I'll race my Camaro or my Corvette against your big ol' clunker that calls itself a pony car and win any day."

"Please. Horsepower, son. Fuckin' 662 on my Mustang, 625 on your Corvette, and 580 on your Camaro."

Saria was done with this conversation mini-arc. "Please, guys. Why don't you just go straight to comparing dick sizes and be done with this?"

And, of course, Skye couldn't resist the jibe. "Oh, yeah, you know you want to see mine."

As the reader could most likely guess, Saria didn't even bother responding to that.

"Actually, I don't really care about any company more than another. I just buy the best product. I actually would have purchased a GT500 for myself if you didn't already have one. Two in the house would be overkill, you know?"

"Yeah, I guess. You guys done with your coffee, or what?"

Skye smirked. "What coffee?"

Saria looked rather strangely at him (after all, he was holding a coffee cup) until she noticed Link trying not to laugh. Instead, she asked, "Okay, what's the joke?"

Beckoning her closer, he unzipped a side pocket of his backpack just enough for her to see the empty bottle of Canadian cream ale. Realization dawned on her. "The cup is just for show?"

Skye re-zipped his backpack."Yup."

"So how's your 'coffee'?"

"Delicious."

"Can I try it?"

"Are you familiar with this particular brew? It can be a bit difficult to manage if you haven't experienced it before."

"Not with it specifically, but with the general category."

"Sure, then."

She took the proffered cup and drank a few sips. "Man, this is some damn good coffee."

"I know. Usually I like the German blend of this kind of stuff, but for this particular type, Canada rules."

"I can see that."

They left pretty quickly after that. The other customers were beginning to look at them oddly, mostly because the shop prided itself on using Brazilian beans.

Link continued the conversation."Skye, have you seen the new pics of Aston Martin's Vantage N430?"

"Yeah. It's pretty sexy. My Vantage V12 S is better, though."

Saria was confused again."Wait, really? Isn't the N430 supposed to be their new super sports car?"

"Yeah, I guess. But a glance at the specs says otherwise. Just as confusing as the ZL1 vs the Z/28. 510 to 430 horsepower, 205 to 190 mph top speed 457 to 361 lb-ft of torque... the V12 S outdoes it in pretty much every regard. There's gotta be a better power-to-weight ratio, or something. I don't buy it."

"Man, and I thought I was a car geek. How do you have all the specifications memorized like that? I mean, I can tell you which car is more powerful between pretty much any given pair, but except for super iconic stuff like a GT500, I don't have the exact numbers."

"Yeah, well, I keep up to date on this stuff. I mean, if you were looking with a legit buyer's eye at every new car that comes out, you'd remember it just as well as I do."

**(A/N: True confessions = I am pretty much what Saria said. I know the general capabilities of most cars, but I had to use Google to find the numbers to do this.)**

"I guess."

"Come to think of it, do you own a car? I meant to ask."

Saria shook her head. "My mother owns a Corolla that I drive when I need to, but, other than that, no."

Skye filed that bit of information away. "Actually, to be perfectly honest, I don't know too much about economy-class cars."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, I only really started being interested in cars when I got my license, beginning of freshman year, but that wasn't too long before I.. _came into_ my fortune."

"Pun intended?"

"Absolutely. Anyways, after that, I didn't have too much use for your average car."

"Except for the Passat."

"Yeah. I don't drive it often. Driving standard cars is a bitch when you're used to high-end luxury and performance cars."

"I don't doubt it."

"It's pretty disconcerting when you expect a car to go '_**VROOOOOAAAAARRRR!**_' and instead it goes 'vrrrrrrrrr'."

"Well, it wouldn't be _that_ loud. Not, like, ear-shattering."

"I may have, completely accidentally, partially broken the mufflers on several of my cars."

"Oh."

"Yeh. The Camaro sounds like a '65 Charger."

"Like, irretrievably broken?"

"Eh, it's enough to make it super loud, but I really just loosened some bolts to let the sound out. I can fix it in about eight seconds with a socket wrench. Conveniently, I have one in the trunk."

"For when you don't want to sound like a freaking banshee and scare people?"

"Oh, I don't know. Scaring people can be pretty helpful. Once, I was coming down the road by the college, and some dumbassed cheerleaders decided to step out in front of me. There wasn't nearly enough time for me to stop, so I just gunned the accelerator. They ran like frightened chickens. I'm certain they never tried that again."

**(A/N: A friend of mine did this once, driving his '92 Mustang. It was beautiful to behold.)**

"Good stuff. Hey, what're we doing with this extra time before class?"

"Uhh... I don't know."

"Hey, Skye. Why the hell do you even go to classes? You're never going to need to work. What do you need to know?"

"Oh, I like being on the basketball team, and I need a 2.7 GPA at least or else I get kicked off. It's not hard to get high C's and low B's. Besides, if I sat around in my house all day, I'd get lonely and shit."

She had to laugh at that. "You? Lonely?"

He looked uncomfortable. "Oh... you know... everyone gets lonely when they're alone all the time. That's why the word is 'lonely', 'cause it comes from 'alone'."

Link spoke for the first time in a while."Hey, we're coming up on campus, here. Skye, Saria. You wanna sit on a park bench or something?"

"Heh, why not?"

Link and Saria sat, as had been suggested, but Skye snapped his fingers. "You know what, I forgot my AP US History book. Might need that. I'm going to drive back and get it."

Saria volunteered to go with him, but Link shot her down. "What, and leave me here by myself?"

"Sure, fine."

As Skye left, Saria opened the conversation with Link. "What is it?"

"Huh?"

"You're not the type to worry about being by yourself for 20 minutes. You wanted to say something."

"I just kinda want to talk to you. It's been a while since we've had a legit conversation. Remember, we only ran into each other the other day for the first time in like three years."

"Okay. What did you want to say?"

"Oh, I don't know. How's your love life been? You ever get laid?" **(A/N: Scrupulous readers will remember that Link has been told that Saria is a virgin. But he'd prefer that Saria didn't know that Zelda already told him, as ****he doesn't want Saria to be mad at Zelda****.)**

"No, I'm still a virgin. I've had a couple boyfriends, but I didn't like any of them enough. They were just into me because they were attracted to me. No kind of meaningful relationship can be built on that."

"Of course not. I'm proud of you for not giving yourself to those jackasses."

"Hah, you sound like my mom."

"Did you pack a lunch? Are you coming straight home after school? Is your homework done?"

"Okay, okay, I concede."

"Seriously, though. Conversation happening here."

"I've been meaning to ask. What do you think of Skye? Anything you think I should know?"

Link hesitated. "Skye is a chill guy. He's smart, rich, athletic, and kind. But... he's kind of shallow. I don't think he really understands people, and he doesn't know what it's like to really care about someone. He understands loyalty to a friend, and I'm pretty sure he would protect me or any other close friend even to the cost of his life, without hesitation. But he doesn't know how people think. There's a reason why he has had far more one-night stands than legitimate girlfriends. And even those didn't last long. It's... it's almost comparable to autism, actually. Or at least to the concept. Like, he's really smart but doesn't know how to interact with people. It's not exactly like autism and he doesn't have it, but... am I making my point?"

"Yeah. Go on."

"Sorry, that comparison was kinda lame. Anyways, he makes very simple judgements of people and doesn't look for motives behind actions. Basically he just looks at the surface of things. Also, he's arrogant. He knows he's got it good and acts the part. It's hard to respect him if you haven't known him for a while."

"Uh-huh."

"Also, I think you should know. I defended him to Zelda earlier, but he doesn't really respect women. I mean, he's not sexist or anything, but he doesn't really recognize that people have inhibitions that he doesn't. And I doubt he really cares about virginity, either. Well, most guys don't. But girls do, right? For the most part?"

Small voice. "Yes. Well, at least I do." Brief pause. "Is he really that bad?"

"No, I'm making him sound worse than he is. I'm not really touching on his good parts, but the good things about him are fine for you to figure out or see on your own. I just don't want you to be surprised by his insensitivity. I don't think he even really takes time to consider himself or second-guess his actions at the end of the day. He makes one decision about things and then it's over. No further consideration, no recount."

"Well, thanks for telling me everything I didn't want to know about my boyfriend."

"Hey, you still need to hear it. It'll help you understand him better."

"I guess. Thanks."

"Glad to help anytime. And hey, if he ever does anything you don't like, I'll kick his ass for you."

She giggled. "Could you even?"

"I doubt it, actually. He doesn't give off a muscular-guy vibe, but trust me, under that sweatshirt he's pretty buff. And for sure faster than me. So I doubt it."

"Wow, that's more modest than I expected from you."

"I'm a bit less arrogant now, true. At least, I hope so."

They engaged in meaningless small talk (which I do not, as a rule, transcribe) until Skye's return. Shortly after that, they went their separate ways to classes.

_TWO WEEK TIMESKIP_

_Biology, second hour class_

"Look, Saria. we're not trying to say that you're doing the wrong thing by dating Skye..."

"Well, maybe you aren't, Zelda. I am."

"Shut up, Malon. Okay, Saria, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that you've been dating Skye for two weeks now and you still don't know each other well enough. You should talk. Ask him a little more about his life. Tell him a little more about yours."

"And I'm saying that that's a pretty awkward conversation to start. Besides, you don't have any business giving me relationship advice. You're not dating anybody. You can't talk."

Zelda looked sidelong at Link, who was reclining with his feet up on the desk and tacitly listening to the conversation. "Link. You're my boyfriend for the next thirty seconds, 'kay?"

He shrugged. "Sure."

"There, see? You should follow my advice."

Saria laughed at her. "That doesn't count!"

"Oh, and why not? Just because it's short-term doesn't mean my relationship with Link is any less real."

Link nodded. "True story."

Saria couldn't help but laugh again. "You two are insufferable."

"We are, aren't we?"

Malon rolled her eyes. "Get a room, guys."

"We did. We're in it right now."

"I swear, if you start having sex on the desk during class, I will post videos on the Internet."

Link grinned. "Hot."

"You pig!" Zelda didn't take kindly to that, apparently. But her eyes told a different story, betraying her inner laughter.

Wagging a finger accusingly, Link said, "Now, now, you appreciated that joke just as much as the rest of us."

"Did not."

"Did. Anyways, you're letting me distract you from Saria."

"Oh. Right. Saria, you've gotta learn a little more about him. What can you tell me about your boyfriend, other than how he looks, his affinity for cars, and that he's rich?"

"He's kind, chill about everything, a good friend, and I like being with him. It's all I need to know."

"Okay. What was the last thing you did with him?"

"On Saturday, he decided his car collection needed some color, since they were mostly black, white and silver. So we spent all day driving his cars all over the place to get repainted, and while we were doing it, he decided he wanted three new cars. It was... glorious."

Link hadn't heard about this, oddly enough. "What did he buy?"

"Oh, let me think... a BMW i8, an Audi R8, and a Ram 3500."

"Okay, now he's gone from absurdity to complete lack of logic. He now owns three BMW's and two super duty trucks. What."

"Well, he owns three Mercedes, too. And, you know, to complete the truck collection, he's gonna need a Silverado 3500 as well. You know, the Ram wins in torque and max towing power, the F-450 has the highest horsepower, and the Silverado has the highest max payload."

As we know, Zelda has little patience for extended car discussions. So she headed off this little digression before it really got going.

"Honestly, though, you've got to talk to him. Learn about his background and family and stuff. It could help you understand him better."

"You guys seem to have some idea that this is some big serious, romantic thing. We just like hanging out together. A few kisses from time to time, sure, but it's nothing like you're making it out to be."

"And is that all you want there to be?"

She went red. "...No."

"Yeah, see? You gotta have some conversations with him."

"I'm just not sure what he wants."

Link decided to re-involve himself in the conversation. "I could try to find out for you, if you want."

"No, if anyone is going to talk to him, it's got to be me. I don't want a relationship built on sneaking around to figure each other out. If we're going to have anything real here, it'll come from us talking honestly and openly with each other."

"Oh, my. Aren't you wise?" This was the first thing that Malon had said for some time. With a different tone, it could have been lighthearted and jocular, but it was dripping with sarcasm. Saria turned to her.

"What, don't you approve?"

Malon crossed her arms. "I don't trust that guy. You should break up with him."

Link and Zelda shared a glance, nodded, and then Zelda spoke. "Whatever happened between you and Skye in the past is for you to work out. I don't know what went on with you two, but it's just that: between the two of you. Leave Saria out of it."

This little speech left Malon blushing and stuttering. "W-what!? How do you..."

"Oh, come on, Malon. 'Oh, look, it's Skye, OMG MUST HIDE!'. You've got history with him and you're bitter for some reason. It's obvious."

"Hey, how could you accuse me of-"

"How? Like this. Malon, you're acting weird. You aren't being the supportive, encouraging friend that Saria deserves and is used to. You need to either keep your mouth shut or talk to Skye on your own and work out whatever it is that's with you guys."

"S-sorry. You're right. Saria, I apologize."

"Already forgotten."

"Thanks. You know, Zelda, you're pretty scary when you get all white-knighty."

"I try."

_That afternoon_

Skye didn't show up that afternoon in the courtyard like he usually did, so Link and Saria went over to the house to find him. Once there, they heard some tinkering noises coming from the basement. Going down there, they found him in his workshop with the BMW i8 on the car lift, pretty much broken down into its most basic elements. Engine parts were scattered all over the floor. Saria, as you can imagine, was pretty confused, since the car was brand-new and couldn't possibly have developed engine trouble in that time.

"Skye, what in the name of all that is holy are you doing to that car?"

Stepping out from under the car, he greeted them. "I'm fascinated with it. The engine layout is amazing! I'm just trying to understand what's going on underneath the hood here."

Link just had to call him out on it. "But you've never fucked with a hybrid car before. Can you even put it back together?"

"No, see, that's the whole point. It's not even a legit hybrid; the electric motors and engine work entirely separately! I can even prove it. Here, just look how the alternator is set up."

Skye picked up a part from the ground that, Link thought, was _definitely_ not an alternator. Apparently, Saria agreed. "Skye, honey, that's not an alternator."

"Oh, yeah? What is it, then?"

"I... I don't know. Link, what is that?"

"Um, I have no idea. I guess he must be telling the truth."

"Damn straight. C'mon, let me show you my new Audi R8."

Link followed him into the main garage, and was suitably impressed. Only one problem, though. "I always thought that the R8 looked best in red and black. This is gray and black."

"Oh, you prefer red? Okay."

Skye pulled his (enormous) keychain out of his pocket and selected a key-fob with the four circles of an Audi on it. Besides the regular lock, unlock, trunk, and alarm buttons, it had four colored buttons: Red, blue, yellow, and gray. He pressed the red one, and, within a matter of seconds, the gray sections of the car shifted to red.

"How the hell does that work?"

"Well, it's a special kind of paint. Each of these buttons runs a different electrical signal through it, changing the color."

"Skye, I promise you that technology does not exist. I've researched this kind of stuff, and I can guarantee that it doesn't work like that."

Skye shrugged. "Oh. Then it's magic."

"W-w-w-what...?"

**(A/N: I am trolling you guys pretty hard right now.)**

"Anyways, I'm second-guessing the blue that I had my Camaro painted. I'm going right now to the body shop to get it painted red. Saria, you coming?"

"Sure."

The body shop was a little out of the way. It was actually near campus, so they chose to walk in one of the parks nearby while they waited for the process to finish, as park-walking was one of Saria's favorite things to do with people. She decided, on an impulse, to do some talking like Zelda had suggested.

"Skye... I gotta ask. What is it you want out of this relationship?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Whatever makes you happy, I guess."

"Please, Skye. Come on. You're too guarded. It's not like you don't talk to people or anything, but you kind of have a shell that you put up. You don't share anything about yourself or your feelings. I get the idea that even Link doesn't know you too well."

Shrugging again, Skye said, "I just don't like talking about myself. Is that a big deal?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it is. I'm your girlfriend. I don't know what that means to you, but you can trust me! Come on, open up."

"You don't assert yourself often, do you? You get all cute and flustered."

Saria went red, but managed to stammer out,"Y-you just said that to put me off my guard, didn't you?" Skye shrugged yet another time. It was a favorite expression of his, Saria noted.

"Well, it worked, didn't it? And it's true."

"Seriously, Skye. Please don't hide yourself from me."

"Okay, okay. What do I want out of this relationship? Well, I do like you, and I like spending time with you. But I don't know yet to what extent I have feelings for you, and I haven't decided how serious I want to be."

Saria was satisfied. "I can understand that."

"What do _you_ want?"

She thought for a moment. "I want to love someone and have them love me."

_It's weird, isn't it? I would usually have trouble saying that. But something about him just... makes me not feel awkward._

"What does that entail?"

"Well... what does love mean to you?"

"I-I don't actually know. I understand attraction, and I understand enjoying someone's company. But I don't understand the feeling that causes a person to cross the world or give up dreams for another person."

"Well, love is... actually, I'm not going to tell you. So you can't fake it."

"Oh, so you want any expressions of feelings for you to be 100% legitimate? You aren't down with flattery?" This last statement was delivered with a grin.

"No, I'm not." Saria was less amused. "You're still in your shell. Tell me about yourself."

Apparently, Skye loved shrugging. He did so now. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything. What got you into basketball and cars? How did you meet Link? I know, tell me about your family."

She instantly regretted that question, seeing Skye stop walking. His face went blank and he took on a curt, precise tone. "I don't talk about my family. I don't care for them and they don't care for me, and once I got the means to support myself we stopped communicating, after I made it clear they weren't getting a penny of my money."

"Sorry I asked. Will you at least tell me where you grew up?"

He seemed to relax a bit. "Labrynna, until I was seven. Then we moved to Kakariko. I didn't go to your high school because coming here got me away from my family."

"Yeah, I only went to high school in Kakariko. I live way off in the city of Kokiri."

"I can tell."

"Really? How?"

He reached over and stroked her – primarily – dark brown. "The green highlights sorta gave it away."

"Oh, yeah. That's a thing over there. I still do that because I made a promise to a friend that I'd keep the style. You know, to remember her by. We were super close in junior high."

"I got you. I didn't exactly have any real friends in middle school. I had some dudes that hung out with me 'cause I was good at basketball, and some girls that were just interested in my looks."

"Ugh, I hate shallow, materialistic people like that."

"Well, they're all over the place. After all this time, I've learned how to make it clear that I'm not interested in suck-ups as friends. I've been pretty much left alone by people that didn't weren't legit interested in me as a person."

"That's always good. No one needs fake friends."

"So you never got guys that hung around you because you're beautiful?"

You could almost see the steam coming out of Saria's ears as her face took on a color similar to forging-temperature steel. She barely managed to get out the single-syllabic word, "No".

Laughing, Skye said, "You are so damn cute when I compliment you, you know that?" Noting that she seemed unable to speak, he said, "I'm trying to decide whether I like that or not. On one hand, well... cute. On the other hand, it completely interrupts the conversation."

"M-maybe I'm not used to casual expressions of endearment, okay?!"

"Get used to this, then." He stepped forwards, put his arms around her back, and pulled her into a forceful kiss. Not necessarily passionate, but he certainly was pulling her against himself _hard_. After several moments, he let go of her, but she embraced him in turn, pressing her body against his. When she finally broke away, she appeared only partially embarrassed.

"Used to it. Got anything else?"

He shook his head. "I'm not sure whether you're timid, awkward and submissive, or independent and outgoing. Half of things make you embarrassed you go red, and the other half you just take in stride. I don't even know how you'll react to stuff."

"Yeah, I've got different sides. So does everyone. Maybe mine are just more contrasting."

"See, that's awesome. Predictable people are definitely less fun to be around than people who have multiple sides to their personality. One-dimensional girls? Keep 'em around for the night, but they'd best be outta there when I wake up."

"Now _I'm_ trying to decide about _your_ personality."

"On what exactly?"

"Whether you're a kind, caring person or an insensitive, womanizing asshole."

"Ooh, that's just mean."

"It's true, isn't it?"

"I guess I sound a little more promiscuous than I really am, don't I? I sleep around, but it's not like I have a different girl in my bed every night. I have a one-night stand once a month, tops."

"Y-you mean this is an open relationship?"

"What? No! I didn't mean that at all. I don't plan to do that anymore, that's just what I've done in the past. It was only an awkward turn of phrase, okay?"

Saria relaxed visibly.

"I wouldn't even _consider_ cheating on you, Saria. Please believe that."

"I believe it."

"Good. I just don't do that. If a guy isn't satisfied with his girlfriend, he breaks it off with her. He doesn't go around behind her back. I've been accused of being an asshole, and I guess I am, in some ways, but even I can't imagine doing that to a girl."

There was a pause as they went back to walking together, then Saria giggled.

"What?"

"Oh, it's just that... I was right. There is a lot more to you than people think."

"I'm nothing special. It's just because I'm a douche about 80% of stuff; when I act nice it seems so much more radical than it really is."

_I'm pretty sure that's just what you want me to think... but I'll leave the subject alone for now._

"Look, in the interest of complete honesty, you do act like an asshole sometimes." She looked at him to make sure he wasn't offended by it, and continued after he gave a 'guilty as charged' kind of nod. "And I know Link doesn't like jerks. How did you two get so close?"

"Oh, he was in a fistfight and I kicked some ass. It wasn't an unusual thing."

"You interrupted him in a fight? I'm surprised he doesn't hate you!"

"Huh?"

"I guess with a different person... anyways. You remember that guy that you played against during basketball tryouts? Ganon?"

"Oh, that was the name of the guy that guarded me? I'll remember that."

"Let me put it this way. The first time he and Link run into each other, you're gonna want some popcorn."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. It's one of the more hilarious things you're likely to see. Their relationship is... interesting."

"I'll look forwards to it, then. Do I get awesome makeouts while observing it?"

She punched him in the arm. "Come on, let's go get your Camaro."

**Okay, I think I've hashed out Skye and Saria enough that I can move on to the main part of the story starting next chapter. They still have a long way to go in their relationship, but I'm under significantly less pressure to focus on them now. There will be lots more of them in the future, but there will probably not be chapters entirely concerned with them for quite some time.**

**Now that you're done with the chapter, go to my profile, open the "favorite stories" tab, and check out GodAwfulLag's "Travels through Time and Love". Do it. **

**DO IT NOW**

**ALSO PM HIM AND TELL HIM TO UPDATE MORE**

**FALLENANGEL2298 OUT**


End file.
